My Autoimmune Life

Twitter Updates for 2010-09-05

autoimmunelife — Sun, 05 Sep 2010 12:58:00 +0000

@theineffabelle Ooooh…. I will have to go read it once we're done watching the Babylon 5 episodes we're in the middle of right now! in reply to theineffabelle #
@gypsydust Thanks. It is hard. I need to pick up crochet again, I'm trying to learn it! I want to do blankets for all 3 kids, and us. in reply to gypsydust #

This seems to be helping

autoimmunelife — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 04:41:40 +0000

I mentioned in my last post that I was going on bedrest. This has proven to be a very good decision, as I am actually able to move around some without cramps again, the spotting hasn’t happened since … it was either Tuesday night or Wednesday morning that I last had any sign of it, the cramps are a lot less painful, though they do still show up no matter what I’m doing, and they are much less frequent. I do still get groups of cramps … sometimes an hour or two of cramping, after which they go back away on their own. I think we will continue this way of handling things, I’ve also managed to get my pain med usage down A LOT! I think the physical therapy and stretches (the ones that I’m still doing, my nurse, PT and I agreed there are a couple that I shouldn’t be doing) are helping with my pain too, as are the back massages from my therapist and from Johnny. Things are definitely better now… I can even sit at my PC for awhile again, since baby doesn’t like the laptop (even with it lower on my thighs and nowhere near my belly s/he gets more active when I use it… and I’ve been able to help with small amounts of laundry and dishes, as long as I listen to my body and don’t overdo it, and I do it at times where I’m not cramping. Over all I spend a lot of time napping, sleeping, or laying on the couch watching things.
The best news…. Littlest is still very active… and becoming more so!

Nothing is simple with me

autoimmunelife — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 01:20:04 +0000

So…. Johnny and I had an appointment to go to this afternoon, and I (stupidly, but I know my freedom to drive is going to be restricted before too much longer even without bedrest, so I am driving as much as I can) drove us there. I was fine on the way there, I was fine in the waiting room beforehand, I was fine during the appointment, I started having some mild discomfort after while we were waiting to talk to the financial lady, so I left my contact into and a message for her and we got out of there. About… 1/3 or 1/2 of the way home I started having more and more pain. No discharge thankfully, but definite pains that were getting stronger… though they were still having all sorts of different timing in between, completely irregular in that way. So it was a mix of actual preterm labor signs and false labor signs. I ended up with 3 fingers on each hand numb from how I was clenching my hands, and I’m sure I made Johnny’s hand uncomfortable at the very least, as I was holding onto it with one hand. The good thing is once I got back home and got onto the couch (I’ve only gotten up to pee since, this is a few hours ago now) the bad cramps cleared up. Still having pain, but nothing major like I had been having, just some discomfort and really minor cramping.
Johnny and I were talking about this a bit ago and both agree it’s pretty likely I’m goign to be officially put on some type of bedrest pretty soon… which is not something I’m looking forward to yet, but I’m also not getting too upset about it at this point… well… trying not to anyway… there are definitely emotions there, but I’m trying to keep them in check for now.

Quickie update (pregnancy)

autoimmunelife — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 23:14:15 +0000

Having false labor now at 20 weeks. So far no true labor signs, and am now spending my time on the couch (with lots of pillows and the laptop). Won’t be around much on twitter (and I’d just started getting more into it again too!), though I’ll be on other places when I’ve got the laptop on (facebook, blogfrog, not sure what else)… I just don’t like web based twitter, and so far haven’t found something I like that can be used on Linux to be able to run twitter outside the browser. I’ll also be checking my emails throughout the day, so you can reach me that way…. I’d love to keep in touch with people, and keep up with everyone. Also… definitely wanting company that much more since I’ll be in bed or on the couch pretty much constantly, which gets boring… though it’s worth it to keep Littlest “cooking” longer, it’s just boring lol. I’ll also be doing a lot of reading, thankfully I went to the library yesterday before all the cramping and other pains started.

That was a good start!

autoimmunelife — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 23:04:50 +0000

I started therapy this morning. My social worker/counselor/therapist and I agreed that it would be better to go without meds for now if possible, we’re doing other types of therapy. Apparently all the ways I work on dealing with everything is good, though she has added some other things for me to do, and is helping remind me to keep doing the ones I am. It’s nice to have a support person. Not that Johnny isn’t supportive, but he’s not a mental health person, and it’s not his responsibility to monitor my mental health or make sure I’m in a good mood. It isn’t my new therapist’s job either, but she is better equipped to assist me in making sure I’m doing so and taking care of myself mentally and emotionally.
We talked about my mental health history, and about my family history with mental illness. We discussed past treatments, what worked and what didn’t (though we only talked about the most recent meds I’ve done, we didn’t get into Wellbutrin, which sent me into rages and severe depression… my cutting began during that time too, though it continued on each time my depression manifested even after I was off of it. I would call cutting like a drug or addiction for me though, it’s just that at the time of being on that med my depression got worse instead.
Once we had all that information we discussed more in depth the way I deal with my depression and anxiety. Lots of baths or reading, finding things to relax me, deep breathing, journaling, blogging, talking to friends or family members, guided imagery. She told me she wants me to do deep breathing a few times a day at least, and that she wants me to keep a thought record – where I keep track of my moods, what put me into the moods, the thoughts going through my head, etc.
I go back in a week and a half to do some follow up. We’ll continue doing this, and I meet the psychiatrist in October. Even if I don’t need meds at that point it would be nice to meet her and get to know her. I’ll likely be on meds after the birth either way, so this way she’ll know me.
There’s been a lot going on, and it was exhausting just starting to go over it so she could get an idea about me and my life… but I know it’s all worth it. The miscarriages, the pregnancy, the health issues, family stuff, Johnny being out of work due to his hip and so on… all of it has just overwhelmed me. I had been doing ok (though not great admittedly) dealing on my own, but the pregnancy (with all the health issues, and things not going how I hoped), as well as everything else this summer, and hormones (linked with the pregnancy, but it’s not jsut the pregnancy, my depression definitely acts up more with my period and such)…. it’s all too much. I’d rather get help now while it’s overwhelming, but not out of control, than wait and have something bad happen…. things just keep getting more out of control for me, so I’m not willing to let that pattern keep going, obviously what I’ve been doing isn’t enough and I need help. I’ve been getting more and more irritable, more and more sad, crying more, my sleep is more interrupted, etc… and yet again, I’m eating like crazy and not managing to gain weight. I hadn’t really remembered that that was an issue when I was in hs (I would sneak food and eat as much as I could) until I was talking this morning about my depression symptoms this time around. Now it dawns on me just how much that was an issue at that point too. I think my lupus plays a big role now too, but I’d say my depression is definitely affecting my weight as well.

Can’t wait for physical therapy

autoimmunelife — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 17:31:56 +0000

Well, that’s not all I can’t wait for, but there will be another post.

I’ve almost fallen twice, within about 12 hours, since last night. Last night I was sitting on the toilet and my back spasmed and I am glad there was a wall next to me that I ended up leaning on when I tipped over because otherwise I’d have hit the floor or whatever was there instead I’m sure. The second time I was walking out of our room through the bathroom (the bedroom door in the hallway lets in too much light when either of us are trying to sleep, so we always go through the other door) and all of a sudden my legs and back gave out, luckily I’ve learned to stick close to things I can catch myself on (and our bathroom is small), so I grabbed the counter and managed to hold myself up with it until my legs and back decided to cooperate again.

We aren’t entirely sure what is causing this to happen. We suspect it’s a combination of my scoliosis, me being pregnant and things moving due to that fact, my endo pain (this happens, though not as often or severely, when I’m having bad periods as an example), and maybe other factors, but definitely those. We hope physical therapy will help at least some. Also I heard recently (and don’t quote me on this, I haven’t had a chance to look it up to know if it’s true or not) that scoliosis runs right alongside osteoarthritis in the back… so it’s entirely possible that I’ve got some arthritis going there too…

I can’t reiterate enough that I am absolutely looking forward to this physical therapy, any improvement at all would be better than what is going on right now.

Twitter Updates for 2010-08-23

autoimmunelife — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 12:58:00 +0000

@Gille01 I'd say you are definitely far enough. I think those of us who are aware of our body feel things earlier. in reply to Gille01 #
I seem to have a sick daughter. #
@WaitingLisa ((hugs)) in reply to WaitingLisa #
@melstew87 I HATE Verizon. in reply to melstew87 #
@Gille01 just saw your tweet about Jett's cousin… congrats!! #
It would appear both Duckling and I are sick with the same thing. I thought my being sick yesterday was due to pain meds or hormones… #
My stomach just informed me otherwise. And Duckling is feeling pretty sick too. #
@melstew87 I loved ATT when I had them (they aren't out here unfortunately). I hope I feel better too, pretty miserable. in reply to melstew87 #
@Gille01 That's too cool that Jett will have someone right around his age! in reply to Gille01 #
@Gille01 The guys are fine, Duckling and I are not so fine. I am heading back to bed now. in reply to Gille01 #
@Gille01 I have a cousin about 5 years older than me, and one who is 11 months older, we grew up like siblings with them. in reply to Gille01 #
@Gille01 I sure hope so, Johnny helped me get into the tub and soak for awhile. D seems to be feeling better, so that's something. in reply to Gille01 #
RT @sifinalaska: The Disclaimer: Something happened yesterday. Something that kind of stopped me in my tracks. … http://bit.ly/bpd5oZ #
Finally feeling a bit better, we'll see if it lasts or if I'm just in a short break from being sick. #
@Gille01 I just sent you a new rant…. in reply to Gille01 #
@Gille01 Thank you for letting me vent, you don't know how much I appreciate it in reply to Gille01 #
@Gille01 That's a late dinner! I hope the early bedtime works out, but if not I'll be around other than when I tuck the kids in bed… in reply to Gille01 #
@Gille01 It helps that we have the kids here keeping meal times pretty set during the summer. Esp. with Johnny's usual work schedule, meals in reply to Gille01 #
@Gille01 are generally when we get around to them too. But usually it's dinner in the morning, breakfast in the evening, and lunch at 2am.. in reply to Gille01 #
@Gille01 I hope you manage to get some sleep!! in reply to Gille01 #
@Gille01 Sleep well! good luck with getting meals straightened out somehow! in reply to Gille01 #
@DrSnit Sleep well! ((hugs)) in reply to DrSnit #

I wish I could keep that moment forever

autoimmunelife — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 01:44:08 +0000

I’ve said that about a few things lately, but the big one happened a few hours ago, this afternoon, when neither Johnny or I were feeling well. He leaned his head on my chest and belly while I was standing in front of him leaning towards him. After leaning for a ccouple of minutes he started poking my belly in the area Littlest usually hangs out in and said “Hey, it’s your Daddy, wake up!” I felt some movement, but Johnny couldn’t feel it because it was flutters toward my back, so I think Littlest had his back towards my belly and was moving in the opposite direction of where he could be felt by anyone but me. It was still one of those moments I wish I could have frozen in time.

First Saturday Snap Cap

autoimmunelife — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 19:18:10 +0000

Kate at Busted Plumbing brought a new meme to my attention. This is the first week for the Saturday Snap Cup meme.
As The CEO puts it Saturday Snap-Cup is your chance to share a story of appreciation with your readers. Being positive one day a week instead of venting about how hard it is to sip coffee and gab with my girlfriends while our kids wreck whomevers house we are at be a mom is the least I can do! Share whatever you’d like–send a *SNAP* to your newest follower or favorite blogger, a *SNAP* to a stranger who gave you a compliment that made your day, a *SNAP* to a new lipgloss that makes you feel like a rock star, or even send a *SNAP* to your kids by sharing a picture of something they did that put a smile on your face!

This week I’d like to send a *SNAP* to my OB for including the kids in the appointment this week when we took them. They had a blast and are still talking about how great it was to get to help and to hear the heart beat. I love that rather than just letting them hear the heartbeat when she put the doppler up to my belly, they each got to do something with the appointment – Gamer with the doppler and Duckling with measuring me. She made all our days with that one move, and made the kids extremely glad they’d gone with us rather than them and Johnny staying at home so they didn’t have to do a long car ride. We didn’t even get complaints in the car, other than one question of how long it would take to get there, and we didn’t get any on the way home at all.

If you’d like to join us with this feel free to head over to this post and take part!

Oh and… (OB Appt 8/19/10 part 2)

autoimmunelife — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 19:04:59 +0000

My OB thinks at least part of my pain, with where it’s been located, may be a cyst. If I remember when I have my ultrasound in a couple of weeks I’ll ask them to let me know if they see any cysts, or any signs that one has popped or anything.
The other thing is that we discussed how to keep me from having another pregnancy, because 1) we have three (human) kids so that’s enough for us (one with us year round, two with us every summer for now, though hopefully eventually we’ll be closer and have them more), and 2) another pregnancy, whether it lasted or not, would obviously not be a good idea for me, mentally, physically or emotionally. Since the hospital my OB works out of (the closest one other than the one in the town we live in – which has no OBs) is a Mercy hospital she can’t perform a tubal litigation there. However at her office she can do this procedure in her office 6 weeks postpartum, and 3 months after that it should be permanent. I can’t tell you how much that eases my mind. It’s not that I don’t want more kids, it’s that this pregnancy, it’s been enough for me without going through it again. And I wouldn’t want to go through even more miscarriages trying to get another pregnancy to stick again… I’m just not strong enough. Plus, as I said, three is a good number for us.
I think I’ve covered everything from yesterday now…..